Category Archives: Funny/Unusual

What if your balloon soared up to the sky…and got stuck?

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I noticed this the other day at the Bismarck Airport and grabbed a quick photo with my cell phone. The ceiling in the airport was painted with a sky texture by Ric Sprynczynatyk when the new terminal was built, and seeing someone’s balloon stuck up against the ceiling reminded me of the movie The Truman Show. It’s way up there, too…so either it will be allowed to drift down on its own as it deflates over time, or someone has to get a BB gun! I’d volunteer for that last one, but the TSA would have a heart attack unless I got permission first.

Hike with the camera on the deer season’s opening weekend? Even I ain’t that crazy

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To paraphrase my friend Rob’s caption for this photo, “How to spot a North Dakotan who’s had a DUI.”

I’ve been out with my camera during deer season before, although I’ve never been stupid enough to venture off the road. Even parked along an established road like 93rd Street southeast of town, the ringing of gunfire in all directions made me a little too nervous. I haven’t taken my camera out of the bag much lately because of the cold/flu/sinus thing ravaging our house, but if I do I think it’ll be well within city limits.

Bringin’ the roof down…well, actually peeling it off

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I was on my way to a decisive victory on the air hockey table at Midway Lanes, when I had to do a double-take. This truck was parked in front of the Dakota Maid Bakery building. Something looked a little weird about the top and back of the truck. Yep, when I turned around to take a look, I knew my peripheral vision had been correct.

Owie. I’m not sure exactly where this damage was performed, but it sure looked ugly. The top of the truck was literally peeled back. The roll-up door was up, so I’m guessing they just parked it and transferred the cargo to a new truck. Bummer.

That reminded me of the other day, when I was sitting in a McDonald’s with my boys. A little truck came by with a ladder in the back, propped up against the cab. It was clearly too high to make it through most drive-thrus, and I heard another table of customers remark about it. The truck went around the back in the drive-thru lane, but we never saw what transpired. When you have two toddlers and a lot of ketchup handy, there’s not much time to be gawking at the parking lot.

I could tell some funny insider stories about the KFYR-TV live truck with the antenna mast on top of it, but I’ll just leave that to your imagination 😉

“Stimulus” funds being put to work in Bismarck-Mandan

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I was walking down Avenue C this weekend and spotted this curious sight on the sidewalk. I don’t know what kind of point someone was making by putting band-aids on the crack in the sidewalk, but to me it screamed “government fix” immediately! It might also make a good metaphor for the results of a successful push toward socialized medicine.

What, you say? I’m too reflexively suspicious of government? Perhaps I’m a fear-mongering racist, which is the label hastily applied to anyone who disagrees with the leftist Democrats in power? Then check out this photo, also found while walking around Bismarck:

The metal plaque in the lobby of the federal building on 3rd Street and Rosser Avenue sports an actual, honest-to-goodness government repair job using shipping tape. Perhaps that was more readily available than duct tape, since the post office is contained therein. I think it has been this way for at least one full year, maybe two. The picture is six months old and I saw this a LONG time before taking the photo.

By the way, for those who thought the “stimulus” was going to be such a lifesaver (and that we need more), Google “stimulus funds haven’t been spent yet” (or click here) and see how much of that money has actually gone out. The answer: very little. What has gone out is not going to “shovel-ready” projects, but largely patronage funding that amounts to typical government pork.

Hopeâ„¢! Changeâ„¢!

Neat things attached to Bismarck-Mandan vehicles

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I’ve seen a few things lately that caught my eye, and a few of them have one thing in common: they’re attached to vehicles. Let’s start with this bumper sticker, which made me smile.

Amen to this one. As you know, I’m a cheerleader for our men and women in military and law enforcement service. I have the opportunity to run around with my camera and post drivel on the Internet because there are people stateside and abroad willing to put their lives on the line for my safety.

As far as humor goes, I probably saved the best for last. This inventive chap found one way to haul his extension ladder on the ol’ Merc: roll the windows down and strap it to the side!

I have quite the collection of oddities and cool stuff bouncing around in my cell phone, maybe I’ll throw a few more up here from time to time. Even though I have my big camera with me most of the time, the cell phone cam turns out to be pretty handy when time is short.

The funniest 8-ton door you’ll see all day

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It’s larger than the door to my underground blogging bunker here at the ol’ BMB, and since it’s in a decomissioned missile facility it has fewer loaded weapons behind it. But it sure is funnier than anything I’ve got, since my wife won’t let me paint our doors! This is the door to the underground Minuteman II launch facility at the Minuteman Missile National Historic Site in lovely Cactus Flat, South Dakota. I made a trip there last week after encountering the site by chance en route to a video shoot much earlier. The door you see here goes to the hardened “capsule” that missileers would inhabit 24/7, ready to launch the missiles under their control. Not only does it weigh 8 tons, it also is lined by very large steel pins that lock into place when the door is secured.

If you have ever watched the movie War Games, and/or you don’t live in North Dakota, you may have the impression that nuclear missile launch facilities were hidden. Wrong. Travel central North Dakota and you’ll discover that neither are hidden or secret, there are signs pointing to them, and that people in the area find them rather commonplace. Even so, taking a tour of this park corrected a lot of misconceptions I had about life in the missile wing.

North Dakota has recently opened a state park Minuteman site, which I haven’t had the opportunity to visit. You can find out more about it by visiting the websites for it at either OscarZero.com or the State Historical Society’s page. Even cooler: our state site is called the Ronald Reagan Minuteman Missile State Historic Site. Chalk one up for the Gipper!

Forklift fail or forklift win?

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Every time I pass this forklift at Honda Plus, located on Airport Road, I have to chuckle at the ingenuity of people. Not only does this counterweight serve an important purpose, it also shows that you CAN make Toyota and Nissan parts compatible…somewhat.

One of my favorite “daily visit” sites is failblog.org. It took off from the FAIL meme: You take an image of someone doing something dumb, making a hilarious mistake, or just generally failing at something. Paste the word FAIL on it in an Impact style font. Post and share the hilarity.

An alternate of it is WIN. While I question the means of attachment of this weight to the forklift, I have to admit it displays a certain innovation. While it would probably qualify for failblog.org, I wouldn’t put this in the “dumb” category. Thus I couldn’t decide if this was a FAIL or WIN, so I thought I’d make my own failblog.com-worthy image and let you be the judge:

Giant piece of metal strapped to a piece of heavy equipment: check. Toyota counterweight attached to Nissan forklift: check. FAIL text in proper font (Impact): check. All that’s left is to see if it’s a FAIL or a WIN. I may even decide to post it to failblog.org sometime, or you can if you’d like.

Chalky auto detailing

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I don’t know what to think of this station wagon. Either someone’s getting ready to road trip to Burning Man, or the kids need a spanking! If you’re into the whole car-chalk-drawing thing, I suppose a station wagon is one of the better cars due to increased surface area. A van without windows would be even better!

This car has been parked along 4th Street for a while. If you’re in the area, swing by and have a look! Someone obviously put a lot of work into it.