Category Archives: Expository

One more reason to be glad you live in North Dakota

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As many of you know, I get my network service via satellite, which gives me the pleasure of New York and Los Angeles local newscasts. After watching the 24 finale tonight (wow) I saw a story about how New Yorkers were weaseling a way to license their vehicles in other states to save on their automobile insurance premiums. Then I saw this graphic:

Yeah, that’s right! You could BUY a nice car for what many New Yorkers pay in annual premiums. So who cares if you can start at $10-15 at McDonald’s there…you have to pay stratospheric rent and confiscatory insurance premiums!

So it’s true that it’s easier for a guy making New York wages to buy a $20,000 car…but by the time he gets done paying to park and insure it, I suspect we get the better deal.

The great E85 lie

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I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about E85 fuel lately…in North Dakota especially it’s being heralded not only as a great alternative fuel, but also as a great source of revenue flowing into our state. Well, they may be right on one account. But E85 (or ethanol at all, for that matter) is a big loser. That’s the great big elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about.

It’s easy to be on the “for” side of the E85 issue. After all, who wouldn’t want a nice plentiful alternative fuel…one that helps the farmers of America’s heartland? But that comes with a big catch. Set your feelings aside for a second and connect the dots.

The ND Public Service Commission released a report this week saying that they tested E85 fuel from two Bismarck gas stations. Fuel that’s being sold as “85% Ethanol” is actually allowed, by ND law, to vary by as much as 25%! That means you could be buying “E60” when you’re paying for E85, and it’s legal! Not only is that sad, but it’s not even the heart of the matter. Read on.

According to figures they released in a Bismarck Tribune article today, the two samples of E85 fuel tested at 79,580 BTUs and 89,830 BTUs. That’s a measure of how much energy is in a gallon of the fuel sold as E85 at those stations. The more energy in the fuel, the more that gets released when you burn it in your fancy new alternative-fuel capable vehicle. That’s quite a variance, in this case well over ten percent!

Have you ever had a dirty air filter? A fouled spark plug or cracked spark plug wire? Have you taken a road trip with underinflated tires? These things make a pretty serious difference in your gas mileage. So imagine the difference if someone took ten percent of the bang out of your fuel! Your mileage is going to go down far worse than any of the above.

But again, there’s that giant elephant in the corner that nobody’s talking about. Let’s refer back to those numbers for E85 fuel. On the low end they had 79,580 BTUs and the high end 89,830 BTUs. Conventional gasoline typically contains over 110,000 BTUs according to the EPA! So E85 is a thermodynamic DUD.

Let’s not forget that in order to get that precious gallon of energy-saving E85 fuel you have to plant corn, irrigate it, harvest it, transport it, process it, and extract ethanol from it. So you’ve already burned a ton of fuel just to get that gallon of E85 in the first place. Now you’ve got a gallon of something that has approximately 70% of the energy output of a gallon of gasoline!

As a motorcycle racer, I’ve heard all the myths about gasoline blends. I’ve talked to guys who think the octane rating is the same as a virtual “power rating” of a fuel. I’ve heard that race gas will burn up your engine (generally it actually burns faster, therefore cooler). I’ve also done the research and read a lot on it. And let me tell you right now, your best bet is to buy 87 octane Regular Unleaded. Don’t get the ethanol blend for the same price; your mileage will suffer. If you ride a car or motorcycle which requires higher octane fuel, get the Premium Unleaded. Your engine will thank you for it, and so will your wallet.

Speaking of wallets, the only way ethanol and ethanol blended fuels can be viable is if someone sneaks money out of yours. Your taxes have to subsidize this new miraculous alternative fuel; billions have been spent already on it and billions more will be spent due to the craze over the price of crude oil and gasoline. Subsidies will help build processing plants and subsidies will go to farmers growing corn…it’s subsidies all around, hop on the Ethanol gravy train!

I know this isn’t going to be a popular post in a rural state like North Dakota, but it’s the truth. I don’t care if it brings more ag revenue into the state, it’s a dishonest way to get it. Remove all the subsidies, let ethanol pay its own way, and then see how viable an alternative fuel it is. In the mean time, I’ll stick to burning the real thing, and getting my 110,000 BTUs per gallon out of it. In the motorcycles, I’ll be getting a lot more than that (for anywhere from $4 to $24 per gallon)!

I am “Big Oil” …and so are you

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No, I didn’t drive out to the coast for this. It’s a first – I used someone else’s image (aslo.org) for a variety of reasons. But the picture’s not the point.

I don’t know how many of you look at your 401(k) statements from work, or picked your own funds, or have personal retirement accounts of your own. Maybe you invest in mutual funds outside of retirement plans. I have some 401(k) and independent IRA plans that I manage through work and on my own, and they’re all doing quite well, thank you very much.

I invest in aggressive funds. I’m a young guy. I also made a ton of money on my previous mutual funds through KFYR and cashed them out to buy my house, a motorcycle, and my fancy graphics and video equipment for my home studio. So it’s time to get back to making money fast. Thankfully I pulled my money out right before the big Internet pucker of the late ’90s. Now I’m invested in aggressive funds again.

Where do you suppose those funds go? They all invest in “Big Oil” to some extent. If you’re young, and you follow the investment advice you’re given, they invest heavily in such stocks. Why? Because they stand to make you a lot of money. So when the government starts talking about breaking up the “monopolies” or taxing “unfair profits” you will see it in your bottom line.

That goes for anyone who comes out of college with a skull full of nice little liberal “anti-corporation” ideas. The fact of the matter is that, in this modern economy, everything is linked together. The prosperity of everyone is linked. If you want to be an “anti” and badmouth the corporations that keep this country going and fuel your mutual funds and 401k, you’d better just pull that money back out and live up to what your mouth is spouting.

Then again, if you have a nice union job, you can be like GM workers who basically get a paycheck for life. Then you won’t have to worry about retirement. That little perk means the rest of us pay an extra $1500 for every GM vehicle purchased in order to fund that nonsense. But I digress.

Maybe the fact that I’m used to paying $5-8 a gallon for race fuel for the motorcycle has desensitized me toward gas prices. It’s either that or the fact that I think the cell phone companies are gouging us far worse than the Wannenbergs are. Either way, just remember that oil companies are publicly traded stocks, owned by people like you, me, and Al Gore. So be careful before you slap a bullseye on your own back.

Growing pains revisited

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As I’ve mentioned before, I get FOX and ABC network service via satellite, so I get the NY and LA feeds. This is nice for when I miss an episode of 24 or Boston Legal because I can catch them again 3 hours later on the west coast feed. It’s also enlightening because I get to see local newscasts from these two affiliates.

Last night’s big news at 9 (FOX affiliates hit their news one hour earlier than the other networks) was of a 13 year old girl who had been abducted literally as she stepped off the school bus in front of her home. Three people dressed in baggy clothes stuffed her into a car trunk and abducted her.

An Amber Alert was issued for the car and someone did spot it parked somewhere. Authorities swooped in and rescued the girl, still in the trunk of the car. The three suspects fled on foot and were not apprehended. The Amber Alert was a success but the fact remains that this is a pretty shocking daylight abduction story. Authorities are checking the girl’s computer to see if they can turn up any leads.

We like to cling to the idea that we live in a safe and happy town. We do, for the most part…but let’s not forget that we have had TWO fifteen year old girls raped in the past month under rather public circumstances. As our town grows, so does the possibility for crime and violence.

We’re growing by leaps and bounds. That has to be both exciting and scary for a community. Any time you have a rapid influx of people from parts unknown, you have to assume that many of them will be bringing their problems with them. We’re about to see for ourselves how that will shake out. Bismarck’s always been the “biggest small town in America” in many respects… but how will that change with the introduction of a population explosion?

One thing that really irks me, especially in light of that New York case, is the way the young girls in this town dress. That’s one of the prime reasons I don’t go to the mall…I don’t want to have to (not) look at that sort of thing! I’ve gone shopping with my wife, so I know how difficult it is to find conservative clothing for girls these days. But it can be done. All it takes is a parent who’s willing to take a stand.

Some friends were accompanying us to the fabulous Peacock Alley brunch buffet one Sunday after church. Ahead of us was a family of five who had apparently also just left church, judging by their clothing. That is, except for the daughter of the family, a girl of perhaps 10 to 12 years old. She was still at that age where they’re all knees and elbows, starting to get taller but skinny like a stick figure. This girl was wearing a skirt so short we could see her panties stick out the bottom as she walked down the sidewalk. No tight, revealing shirt, no bare midriff, but what in the world was going on there? It was all I could do during brunch to NOT go over and ask her parents where their heads were when they let their little girl leave the house dressed in that way. Especially to church!

I don’t care if youre 13 or 43… a pretty girl dressed provocatively does something to a guy’s eyes. And that’s all the fashion these days. Kids have bare midriffs, something that was strictly forbidden in the Mandan Junior High School and High School student handbooks when I was in school, bras that accentuate their figures, and clothing that seems to paint itself on in the mornings. Add to that the fact that our culture is saturated with the sexification of kids these days, and it’s no wonder there are problems with teachers, strangers, and Internet sickos preying on our kids.

Heck, it’s a battle for anyone not to look. A guy has to be vigilant. That’s who we are, we’re lookers. And everything in print or on TV or the computer tells us that teenage girls are hot. Even if you do your best to ignore that indoctrination, we’re swimming in a culture and an atmosphere where sex permeates everything. It’s a struggle. And let’s not forget, the Bible says that if a man even LOOKS at a woman/girl to lust after her, he’s commited adultery (Matthew 5:28). It gets tiring having to shield your eyes constantly when all you want to do is go biking on the path or walk through Kirkwood Mall.

So…here we go, Bismarck-Mandan. We’re going to be bringing in all kinds of population to staff these fancy new businesses we’ve tried so hard to attract. Not all of them will be nice people; that’s a fact of life. So let’s be vigilant and not let crime get a foothold in our fair city. And let’s start dressing our little girls appropriately so they’re not tempting the wrong kind of people to do the wrong kind of thing to them. Do you have the conviction to stand up for this?

Appropriate metaphor – the DSU “Hawk Rock”

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Dickinson State University announced this week that they’re placing the “Hawk Rock,” a 5-ton boulder from the Medora area, near Klinefelter Hall in an effort to boost school spirit. Students are encouraged to write on the rock as long as nothing negative is written (what are the odds of that?) to promote unity and pride among Blue Hawks.
Hopefully this will help boost spirits after the college requested a 9.5% tuition hike. After all, what would make a better metaphor for burdensome student loan debt than a 5-ton rock? Perhaps we could place it squarely between the shoulder blades of a hunched-over concrete figure, and call the whole works “North Dakota University Student.” It’s the perfect mascot for the student borrower.

They’ve had this rock since 2003, which means that it’s unlikely the tuition increase will go to fund this nonsense. Although that’s likely the product of the last tuition increase, and there will be many more increases requested after this one.

DSU seems to be looking for a tradition according to the Dickinson Press article on this thing. One thing I didn’t know is that their original team name was the Savages. Okay, now that is a nickname worthy of change to avoid disrespect for the indigenous peoples of our area. But Fighting Sioux, on the other hand, is a name meant to give honor and prestige to those peoples. But I digress.

I haven’t been to Dickinson lately, although I have lots of family there, so I can’t provide a photo of the Hawk Rock. If I get the opportunity to take one, however, I’ll add my contribution to the messages written thereon: “9.5%.”

PS: NDSU, if you’re watching this, please use your 9.5% increase for English language lessons for your faculty. As a former NDSU student, I’d gladly have paid extra for that. Not that we should have to.

“Brown is the new Black”™

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Everybody’s hopping on the bandwagon when it comes to this illegal immigration nonsense. It’s a new Civil Rights movement, according to Senator Ted Kennedy. The media will not dare mention the word “illegal” in reference to these people. The NAACP is helping carry the banner of the illegals, although they’re wary of them taking away the NAACP’s spot at the table of political power. The unions are having a crisis of conscience because the illegals drive wages down and jobs overseas, but yet a big mobilized workforce could present a big pool of new members. But the biggest salivation seems to be from the Democrat party, which is using these protests as recruitment rallies:

They’re handing out these flyers (printed en espanol on the back) at rallies in Texas. Notice how Texas seems to suddenly be part of Mexico! You can find more of these pictures here.

By the way, if you move to Mexico and become a citizen there, you are NOT allowed to vote. You are subject to immediate deportation if you get involved in politics. The immigration laws in Mexico are far tougher than those of the United States, but they want us to give them the keys to our country.

Oh, and let’s not forget – A.N.S.W.E.R. is elbows-deep in this thing. They’re the group put up my Ramsey Clarke, the guy who supported “ethnic cleansing” of Serbs in Bosnia and Kurd in Iraq.

Thankfully, here in North Dakota we arrest these people when they show up on the job site. It’s happened in Bismarck, Fargo, and now Washburn. I’m sure it’ll only get worse as the politicians on both sides continue to cater to illegals in the hope of more votes.

And for once, our ND Senators are actually voting in the interest of North Dakotans!

Hazardous pastime

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The news has been talking this week about the hazards of motorcycling with the death of another rider west of Mandan, Neal Geiger. It was another case of the classic “I didn’t see him” syndrome from which many “cagers,” a term we motorcyclists use for car drivers, suffer.

We’re in a very tricky season. Not only are the roads still scummy and sandy from the winter, but the sun is still very low in the sky this time of year. That can make for some very dangerous visibility problems at dusk and dawn. Compound that with the fact that area cagers have probably not seen a motorcycle on the roads for several months now, aside from the diehards, so they’re just not used to looking for them on a conscious or subconscious level.

I haven’t even ridden any of my motorcycles this year. Only a couple of years ago I made a point of riding every month of the year, including ice racing. But these days I’d rather not sandblast my paint with the remainder of the winter sand, and I’m a little spooked by the whole angle-of-the-sun thing. It was that type of scenario that led to the horrible death of my friend Kirk on his Kawasaki Ninja several years ago. That kind of thing makes you think.

When one participates in high risk activities, our own vulnerabilities and mortality are something we try to brush off so they don’t interfere with the fun. But after a while, the law of averages and the benefit of experience tend to make those concerns harder and harder to put away. Maybe I’m just getting old…more or less, I’m lucky to be getting old. As several of my friends would attest, we hung it out there farther and faster than any one of us should have dared and yet survived. I’ve got the scars, the almost invisible limp, and the 24 hour pain to prove it.

I was talking with a friend today about the newspaper article about Mr. Geiger’s fatal collision, and it brought to mind memories of friends that have passed. There have been several fatalities among my friends here and abroad. One particularly awful memory was the crash of Norm Kukert, a friend who died literally right in front of another friend and me. I still can’t see a motorcycle on its side without seeing the horribly grisly accident scene. Facing not only the tragedy of a fallen friend, but also one’s own mortality staring back at you, can be a sobering event.

I remember when my friend Mike announced he was going to quit roadracing. He and his wife had a new baby boy, their first, and he decided to hang up racing for their sakes. This was interesting given his particular career, which is inherently dangerous. The next weekend, the weekend immediately following the 9/11 attacks, I was all set up and ready to race on my own. For a number of reasons I packed up my pit gear and came back to North Dakota without racing. That very weekend a young man was killed in turn 2 while his fiance and their little girl were in attendance. Suddenly Mike’s choice didn’t seem so cautious after all.

Why do I continue to ride? It’s what I am. It’s all I’ve ever known, since before I was even in first grade. It’s where I feel at home, it’s where I find peace, it’s where I find excitement and relaxation all bundled up into one. Tragedies and dangers notwithstanding, it’s where I belong.

We all take chances. Different folks have different levels of chance that they’re willing to take. Many of us will be out there this summer on two wheels, occasionally one, trying not to go pinballing between the cars of hapless drivers who “just didn’t see” us. Please take the time to watch out for motorcyclists. We’re counting on you to help lessen the risk of simply doing what we love and were born to do.

The Pine Ridge solution: kill more Indians

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As you may have heard, South Dakota passed a law banning nearly all abortions. The law is supposedly written in such a way as to be a good constitutional challenge for Roe v. Wade. Thus one of our fellow rural states is going to be a focal point of a LOT of national attention, as the governor vowed to sign the bill into law. (I’m not sure if that has happened yet). But don’t worry…the fine folks who brought you gambling and tax-free smokes are ready to step in! Need an abortion? Hop on over to Pine Ridge and get one there once their new clinic is built. Heck, they will probably even have federal dollars pay for it! One catch though; not available to a woman who’s non-Indian. From an KNBN news report: “The best solution to abortion is to make sure that women have access to contraceptives, have access to family planning options, and that information needs to be out there at all times where all women of childbearing age have that information and use it.” … “We just want to make sure that something is done for women who make that decision. All we can do is provide that to them, no questions asked. It’s their choice. It’s between her and God and that unborn baby. And I honor that.” — Cecilia Fire Thunder, President, Oglala Sioux Tribe Wow, imagine if a white guy (person of whiteness? I don’t know the Politically Correct language) proposed the idea that killing (or even just preventing the births) of more Native American babies would be a solution to anything! If I were to make a short list of issues that should be tackled aggressively and quickly in Indian country, I think the list would include unemployment and poverty, meth and alcohol addiction…there are plenty of things that would come before no-questions-asked abortions. If you’d like you can read the whole KNBN TV story here.

A rare political post…but a Dakotacentric™ one

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I don’t like hypocrisy. Perhaps that’s why I have such an aversion to the American left; they don’t have a single belief that’s based on defensible logic, therefore they have to take a fluid position on just about everything. That’s one reason why they claim there are no absolutes. Are they absolutely sure?

Take, for instance, the current theater in which many of us have friends or family serving from the 112th here in Bismarck. They’re flying helicopters in assistance with a NATO peacekeeping force, basically. Do they teach enough history in schools for our kids to know exactly why they’re there? It’s the mess that Bill Clinton started and didn’t clean up.

I’m going to generalize here…the area of Bosnia-Herzegovina is part of what used to be Yugoslavia and consists of Bosnians, Serbs, and Croats. Seemingly they just can’t get along. There was awful “ethnic cleansing” (is “genocide” not politically correct?) under Slobodan Milosevic and it had to be stopped. So, in we went. Did we do it to distract from one of Clinton’s many sex scandals? Who cares…we’re there. Let’s kick butt.

Now, as an outsider, it seems that going the multinational route (in this case NATO / UN / EU) is a sure way not to get anything accomplished. We’re still there. But is the mainstream press crying “quagmire?” Were there rallies this week saying “get out of Bosnia?” Do we get a regular casualty count on the news? No. Our guys are risking their lives over there for a worthy cause, but it’s not advantageous to those who seek to go after our current President to exploit it the way they have Iraq. Plus, it might point out that the last Democrat we elected President never could handle his role as Commander in Chief. Remember those that lamented that 9/11 didn’t happen during the Clinton Presidency, so he could have had a chance to shine?

Now…as far as “supporting the troops, not the war…” that’s nonsense. They’re inseperable. I support what my friends are doing in Bosnia. Regardless of whether the decision to go over there in the mid-90s was a Clintonian diversion, we needed to be there. Nobody else in this world has the sack to stand up to genocidal maniacs. And you won’t find conservatives running down the action in Bosnia because it wasn’t done by their President. By the way, we’re defending Muslims from extermination over there…that’s being conveniently swept under the rug as well.

There were thousands rallying to mourn the death of Milosevic, by the way. That’s the kind of hatred that’s over there. But who do you suppose gave him support in the USA? A Democrat, Ramsey Clark. He was AG in the Johnson administration, was on the Milosevic legal team, and is now defending Saddam Hussein. But his political allies like to compare President Bush to Hitler. On the one hand, Clark formed ANSWER (Act Now to Stop War and End Racism)…seems well-meaning, right? But on the other hand, he was quoted last week as saying, “History will prove that Solobodan Milosevic was right.” Only a liberal can pretend to reconcile those two. And while Clark claims to want to stop war, he defends the Palestinians whose idea of a good time is to blow up a Jewish kindergarten.

I don’t like hypocrisy. That seems to be all that the liberals in this country have to work with, however. It’s up to those of us with common sense to point that hypocrisy out wherever we see it, and it does affect us here at home. Let’s keep those guys from the 112th in our prayers and await their safe return from their brave and worthwhile mission.

Okay, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: I’ve gone completely nuts.

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The Walrus restaurant in Arrowhead Plaza makes the finest Italian food of any restaurant in Bismarck, no questions asked (Sorry, Greg). They have one particular dish that I just can’t escape, the Italian Sausage Pizziola Pasta, which I’ve come to lovingly refer to as “the ISP.” I used to eat my way around the menu over the course of various visits to the Walrus, until the fateful day when our server recommended the ISP. It’s a penne pasta with spicy Italian sausage in a red tomato basil sauce and a mix of fresh peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, and onions. Wow.

When I have spicy food, which I love, I tend to have some interesting dreams that night. The more I eat, the more kick I get. This can be an especially wild ride since I like to make quick-n-dirty rotini pasketti before bed some nights, and I always throw in plenty of basil and oregano. This despite knowing what awaits after my head packs the pillow.

I came home tonight to find that my wife had taken the ISP to a whole new level. She knows how I love this particular dish; we ate it on our first date, our 1 year dating anniversary, and our wedding day! Yet more evidence that she’s the most wonderful woman I could have ever encountered: she put her culinary skills to work, gathered the ingredients, and somehow made a dish that is so perfectly identical to my beloved ISP…yet somehow so much better. It’s got that special ingredient: love. Double wow. So, I got to shovel a bunch into my head tonight with leftovers to spare. It’s going to be a goooooooood lunch at work Tuesday.

Fast forward to sleepy time. I hung around the house to do some chores while my wife went to a friend’s place. The evening was winding down as she got home. She wanted to play a game, perhaps with the Peanuts chess set she bought me for Christmas. I, on the other hand, wanted to finish the important work of single-handedly killing terrorists with my X-box. So she started to get ready for bed. Thankfully I not only diffused the bomb and killed the terrorists, I also realized that it was time to turn the darn thing OFF. So I darted off to bed so we could cuddle and recap our day with each other.

Meanwhile, I’ve got a remarkable blend of herbs and spices working on me. Have you ever had one of those nights where you have an eight-hour dream, and wake up to find you’ve slept for two hours? I had a couple of those. But then I dozed off pretty hard…when I awoke again, I had to wake up and fire up the laptop for this one. I don’t want to forget.

This particular dream started out in a pretty ethereal way, as most do…I ran into a friend who needed their bike fixed and I had a key to the hardware store at the mall (I have no idea where it all came from) and then bounced around to a few other nonsensical situations. Once things started to solidify, I found myself in a fancy hotel/mall complex, with a modular glass roof and white tile, not unlike any of a number of buildings I’ve visited in Minneapolis. There was some big party on the top restaurant level later that day, and the whole complex was buzzing.

Details then get a little hazy until that evening, when I was at this big party of some sort. I do remember bumping into an international dignitary earlier that evening, and of course he looked like Manute Bol, who I saw on satellite (for real this time) Monday night because he was arrested for fighting with his wife. So I find myself at an offshoot of this party, which is an Italian dinner hosted by my friend Pat. Pat just got married and is an old school Italian, and he’d whipped up a fancy dinner for a few of us. (I wonder if that would cause me to have a weird dream within a weird dream? Oh man, I better stop right there.) Manute Bol showed up for a few but didn’t like the potatoes…and then I took off to circulate at this huge event.

This is where it gets really wack. I bump into Bruce Willis. His character in my dream is there because of some fancy art exhibit that’s part of the gala celebration. The reason he needs to see it is that he lost his wife recently and one of the things she wanted most in life was to see this one particular painting. She never got to see it because they never traveled. Now the painting was here, and this guy was here to see the painting and grieve for his wife. This whole situation actually took what seemed forever.

We broke company for a bit because I ran into Michael J. Fox’s character from Boston Legal. He’s had a temporary part on this show as a multi-billionaire who is dying of cancer and can’t buy his way out. On the last of the three or four episodes where he guest starred he had a big “living funeral” at a pub where everyone had to dress up in a hockey jersey and have a good time. I forgot to look for Sioux jerseys, but I’d have worn one if I was there. But in my dream, he was doing pretty much the same thing: having a big send-off. Apparently I knew him, because I gave him a big slap on the back and we shared a brief conversation I don’t remember.

The next thing I remember is that the party’s wound down. Most of the guests are gone and all that’s left is a full-scale cleanup on all floors of this complex and restaurant and suites. Pat’s gone… that party’s disbanded too. I run all over looking for Bruce Willis, thinking there’s a way to console him. He’s nowhere to be found. Michael J. Fox is gone too, presumably having gone to a trendy ski village in the Alps to die alone, as he did in the TV show. And then the question hits me in the face. What’s the last thing you’d want to do…ever?

If the last thing you ever did was recorded for posterity’s sake, what would it be? Peanuts chess with your wife? A gathering with friends, perhaps over homemade Italian food? Perhaps something silly, meaningless and self-absorbing while the one who loves you waits in the next room for you. You could obsess over some material object or status you can’t take with you (Luke 12:16), or depart never having done or seen something you wanted because of a silly hindrance. Or maybe, just maybe, the last remembered thing you did could be the one thing you love the most, shared with the person you love the most. That would be a nice epitaph, wouldn’t it?

I signed a pair of life insurance policies today to provide for my wife should something ever happen to me. Perhaps that, combined with the spicy food, put me on this journey. I didn’t really think I had my own mortality in mind while signing the papers. Maybe deep down I did.

As I woke from this dream, I actually remember myself walking past the shelves of a gift store in this big complex, my eyes searching a rack of DVDs, hoping to find the DVD of this. Boy, the semiconscious mind is wild, isn’t it? Sadly, it wasn’t out on DVD yet. So I woke up, looked at the big blue 4:34 on the clock, and grabbed this laptop. I wanted to remember this dream because I think that nagging question is a very important one. I’ve got a friend who’s a screenwriter in Hollywood, maybe I should pass this one along to him. Note to Mike: can you get Bruce and Michael J.? Just make sure you send me a copy on DVD. The gift store didn’t have it in stock.

(My wife made this wonderful ISP off the top of her head, but offered to write down the recipe in case I wanted to make it on my own sometime. I told her I didn’t want it without her, but if anyone wants the recipe I can get it and post it here. It does not contain any hallucinogenics, honest.)